Day Fifteen Love is Honourable

Day 15

LOVE IS HONOURABLE

Interesting. The daily calendar on our kitchen bench (James Dobson quotations) says today:

"RESPECT is intended to operate on a two-way street ..." (& then quotes:) 'Each one of you must also love his wife as he loves himself, & the wife must respect her husband' (Eph 5:33)

This Dare looks at how I honour my wife. It discusses the special meaning of the word "honour". We are shown how in marriage, the word "holy" should be coupled with "honour".

This reminds me of something I read in "The Resolution for Men" chapter 6 where it says,

"Our journey to become godly husbands starts with the idea of holiness. When something is holy, think of it as being incredibly special & infinitely valuable. Holy things are set apart ... God is holy."

He goes on to point out that when we married, we were choosing each other over all the other people on earth. I chose Liz, set her apart, made her holy to me.

In my vows I declared faithfulness, devotion, to be holy for her - set apart - so our deepest, most secret parts of our hearts should be safe with each other BECAUSE we are holy to and for each other.

The Love Dare (Day 15) further explains this concept of linking honour with holiness.

"To say your mate should be 'holy' doesn't mean that he or she is perfect. Holiness means they are set apart for a higher purpose ... A person who has become holy to you has a place no one can rival in your heart... Sacred to you, a person to be honored, praised & defended."

So how about us? How about me? Have I treated her with honour and holiness? Have a made it possible for Liz to feel genuinely safe with me? To know that her heart, her feelings, her deepest thoughts & fears are safe with me?

Sadly and to my shame, NO. I think she is learning again to trust me and feel safe with me. But I gave her nothing to trust.

I failed in the role of honourable, trustworthy man of God. I led us into sin before we married. I slackened off with my example of church attendance. For too long I stopped walking with God. I deceived, I lied, I did not understand Liz or protect her.

I gave our marriage a faulty and unstable foundation. And then when Liz started crying out from her heart for security, in my own immature neediness I misinterpreted her cries for help as attacks on me and on my children, and I retreated when I should have been stepping up to be the man of godliness and character.

So now we are rebuilding. I think Liz has seen some healthy changes in me, enough to begin to trust me again. But I need to demonstrate the right character and supportive strength so I can be the man of God who makes a difference, who gives her and our children plenty of reasons to trust me.

I choose to be different.
I choose to be strong and stable for my wife and children to really KNOW they are safe.

To honour and respect my wife and family. So they can release their trust and we all can have a richer, more fulfilling life together.