Day 33 Love Completes Each Other

Each of us is a complete person in our own right. We need to be able to live, each as a whole person, without needing another to complete us. We should be able to function normally and successfully by ourselves.

BUT ... God created marriage because we also DO need to be in deep, intimate fellowship, strengthened and strengthening, sharing, empowering together.

"It is not good for man to be alone".
"Two are better than one".
"But how can one be warm alone?"

We need the strength of unity, the bond that intimacy brings, the support of unconditional love.

Whether we share the same opinion, or if our positions differ, in marriage there is always someone who "has your back" and will support and encourage.

Too often we can focus on the differences as "bad", but there can be healthy reasons for diversity. The study points out how in marriage we can complement each other, bringing a balance.

Each of us has good, strong points. But left to themselves, these qualities could become faults. In much of our marriage there are opposites at work. The secret lies in using the power of BALANCE that these opposite brings, and to create even better results than just one of us could produce.

It is very easy to look at the areas in your spouse that are opposite to your own qualities, finding them hard to accept, and misunderstand them. Because we see from our OWN perspective. God gives opposites to bless and to create something stronger, blending two sides to make one complete entity, more powerful and effective.

Day 32 Love Meets Sexual Needs

The challenge today is pretty clear by the title. There are quotations from Scripture, regarding roles and responsibilities in marriage.

There is also reference to the concept of One Flesh. And romance.

Part of meeting sexual needs is the emotional side of it. The challenge to me, today, for our marriage is to meet the needs that Liz has emotionally. To be affectionate, but also to give her more time. To listen more. To just stop, and actually communicate more without being distracted by other things.

We both need this. I need Liz to listen to me, and she needs me to listen to her. By listening, by truly listening, Liz can know and feel that she actually is number one in my life. If she is pushed to the end of the line, or I am distracted by other things when we talk, the message I give is that she is less important than all those things.

So for me, today, my challenge is a repeat of so many before: listen to Liz, let her know by my actions and my listening that she really is valued. Then I can create the right atmosphere for romance to blossom.

Romance is seen differently by male and female. I need to treat Liz romantically, but in the way she feels it. To meet her needs, not mine. To be selfless. I always thought I was selfless. Now it's time to become it.

Day 31 Love & Marriage

This study looks at the principle of "leaving & cleaving". The main focus is on separation from the controlling influences of our respective parents. That isn't really a problem for us. Any such thing had been well dealt with and left behind.

More important for us is the "cleaving". Cleaving to each other. Becoming "one" in our life together. Not divided by differences. Not separated by influences from our past. Not caught in perpetual disagreement. But rather, choosing to come into agreement in the important things of life.

Unity is so important. We need this unity more than ever. Putting aside our own expectations and ideas in favour of finding unity in creating a common ground. Choosing to be in agreement instead of disagreement. Not one person saying "I'm right. You have to do it my way". Rather humility on both sides is necessary to have a healthy relationship.

This is what I am working on, trying hard to do. And will continue to do so. Because I love Liz and I am determined to make our marriage the best and strongest it can possibly be.