This is an interesting one to think about. A husband's role is Protector. A father's role is the same.
When my children were younger, I was very good at enforcing the rules. Cheekiness was banned. Never a movie with even the hint of language (even "crap" was unacceptable for this dad).
But I look back and think I was more an enforcer of right and wrong than anything else. I don't believe my motivation was really that of Protector. Many things that happened and affected various ones of my girls could have been dealt with or prevented, if only I had understood the role of Protector.
In the first 2 years of my marriage to Liz, there were times I didn't protect her - from tensions within the home, from certain situations that seriously endangered her health, and by not standing with her 100% and thus not giving her the security I should have. I believe I have become more aware of this role, and I am sure my heart is different now in this regard.
But this chapter of the Love Dare takes us a step further.
The authors declare that husbands and wives must protect each other, and they challenge our thinking about what this entails.
Satan has an assignment AGAINST marriage because of its importance to God. So he throws every weapon he has against us. But often these are sneaky and insidious ways.
The Authors point out these areas in which we need to protect our partners and our marriage:
Harmful influences.
Habits, time wasters, work schedules.
TV, Internet, etc. Things that pull us away from healthy interaction at home. Even good hobbies can damage the health of a relationship if they are allowed to interfere too much with our time together. Often in today's society, cyber relationships (friends on the Internet) can impact on the communication within the home. Who do I spend most time with?
Unhealthy relationships.
We must choose our friends wisely. Not all our friendships are healthy for our marriages. A special danger we must guard against is opposite-sex friendships. My deliberate choice has been to avoid close friendships with women other than Liz, except where it is our friends as couples together. Even then, my main friend will always be the husband. It's safest that way. I don't ever want anyone to come between Liz and me.
Shame.
This is an issue I have always been very sensitive towards. God's Word says that love covers a multitude of sins. Replace "sins" with faults and mistakes, and you can see God's heart. Every person matters to God, and I believe His plan for us is that we cover each other's weaknesses and faults in love. Not turning them into objects for ridicule or publication. I must protect my wife in these things. If she makes a mistake or slips up in some way, my job is to protect her. Not telling others about her faults but PROTECTING her from shame.
When we had our emotional crash and I was at my lowest point, I talked about our issue with family other family members. This was 100% WRONG!! I should have been protecting Liz, not exposing her to hurt.
My role, regardless of all other influences, is to protect Liz and our family. No matter what. That is my choice. And I am truly sorry for the times I didn't protect Liz - emotionally, physically, in any way I let her down.
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