Day 6

Day 6

Love is not Irritable

Before I continue, I must comment: I needed to take a short break to deal with issues of my heart. The question I raised about communication is still unresolved, and I need to continue down that path, but I realized it has sidetracked me from the Love Dare. So I will post the other thoughts on another page as they come to me.

I also needed to return to this study for my own growth.

Love is not irritable.

If you had asked me earlier, I would have assured you that I am not an irritable person. The many things in daily life that irritate many people around me don't affect me at all. I find it hard to understand how people let small things become huge problems.

Until I hit this study. Third time around. I'm a bit slow, aren't I?!!!!!

So this chapter quotes Prov 16:32,
He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, & he who RULES HIS SPIRIT, than he who captures a city.

Am I hard to offend & quick to forgive? I thought I was. But it had to be pointed out to me that I had developed a habit of snapping at certain family members. I actually thought I was speaking with gentleness & self-control, having made a commitment to genuinely share my opinions. But apparently my irritability was even showing on my face!  This shocked me.

 Isn't it amazing - how we believe the masks we are wearing?  So I have had to admit that there was irritability in my heart - towards people I actually love!! I don't want that.  So I chose to pray and deal with this sinful response. I choose to love them. They are precious to me. So why would I allow myself to be irritated?   This is why I took a few days off from my posts - I needed time to pull myself, my heart back into line.

"Hard to offend & quick to forgive." That's my choice.

My reading challenges me to ask myself,
Am I a calming breeze, or a storm waiting to happen?
Do I make a positive difference in my family?

How about you?

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The author suggests 2 key influences in becoming irritable. Stress & selfishness.

Stress can be caused by relational issues, excessive causes, & deficiencies.
Relational: arguing, division, bitterness.
Excessive: overwork, overplaying, overspending.
Deficiencies: poor rest, nutrition or exercise.

Living wisely and sensibly helps reduce the stress. Taking time to rest, to worship, to relate. Living according to the guidelines in God's Word.

Selfishness: The author argues that irritability ultimately comes from the heart. Irritability indicates a hidden area of selfishness or insecurity in place of love.  He brings up issues like lust, bitterness, greed & pride.  We are challenged to let love enter our heart, calm us down and inspire us to quit focussing on ourselves.

Forgive. Be grateful. Be content. Be happy when someone else succeeds.
Allow yourself to rest in relationship with God, & you will rest more in your relationships at home.

*     *     *     *     *

I have to make the observation that again I found myself spending more time praying for our marriage, & our family, than in genuine communion with God. Again I make the choice to correct that imbalance. A man MUST pray for his family and his wife plenty! But we need most of all to build our personal relationship with God. Without that, I have nothing to give.

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My challenge to me:

Again, focus more on God.
And choose to love and NEVER be selfish, stressed & irritable.
Sleep when I need to, as my beautiful wife often says - I stay awake too long sometimes, and she says "If you're tired, go to bed. " I need to take note.

Do I want to be irritable? NEVER.
Do I want to hurt the ones I love? NO.
Then it's time to rest in who I am and ENJOY the company of my wife and our children. Really enjoy. I thought I did. Now I make a fresh choice to bring peace, joy & love in our home.

So the suggestion would be to stop, examine my day each night:

The Love Dare is a great time to reassess my life according to the Law of Love.
How has my day been?  How loving was I?  Love is not a sentimental feeling: it is chosen way of life.  In the words of 1 Corinthians 13 via The Love Dare:
Love is patient (Day 1)
Love is kind (Day 2)
Love is unselfish (Day 3)
Love is thoughtful (Day 4)
Love is not rude (Day 5)
Love is not irritable (Day 6)
Love believes the best (wait for tomorrow! Day 7)

Looking at my behaviour at the end of each day, if I want to see how loving I have been, I can line my thoughts, words & actions up with these 7 qualities of love.  What a challenge to help me grow!!!

How about you?