Love Dare Day Two

Day 2 (22nd Jan)

Love is kind.

The chapter starts thus:
"Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive... Patience avoids a problem, kindness creates a blessing. One is preventive, the other proactive. These two sides of love are the cornerstones ..."

The authors talk over key points as follows:
Gentleness
Helpfulness
Willingness
Initiative

They point out that love is not based on feelings, and suggest that even when we don't feel like doing the things listed above, we should make them our habits of behaviour.

How gentle, how helpful, how willing, how thoughtful am I? How can I be better at these? The challenge to everyone in any relationship at all, whether marriage, friendships, siblings, work environment, is to demonstrate God's love first by our patience and our kindness. Are we not His hands and feet? We are all called to be "ministers of reconciliation" as Paul wrote, not agents of judgment and division.

The last paragraph of this chapter finishes thus:
"... You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness."

The Love Dare challenge for today:
"In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness".

Before I go any further, I want to bear testimony to Liz and her recent acts of kindness to me. In the past few weeks she has really touched my heart with many small acts that showed the softness of her own heart. Like when she knew I was tired and called when I was near home, to see if I would like her to pick me up from the bus stop. And tidying my clothing drawers when I left them untidy. And offering to make me a cup of tea one evening when I came home. These things have really touched me, as I said. She has been doing a lot of little things that have blessed me.

The first time through The Love Dare (12th April), I wrote:
"Ironed some shirts for Liz ... I often do this, though. I love doing little things to bless her. This is not a hard task, nor an unfamiliar one.
"1am, drove out ... & bought 3 bags of Liz' favourite lollies & a card & gift bag. Put them outside her door & sent a text to say there was a present there. "
(at the time we were separated).

I think it's easy for me to demonstrate kindness, as acts of service form part of my love language. The thing I must be careful of, is not using kindness as a way to control or to get my own way. The question I must frequently ask myself is this:
"Am I doing this for completely unselfish motives?"
I must always be seeking the BEST interests of the one I love - not just trying to make our relationship "right", or because I want to build peace. My only motive in being kind should be simply to bless Liz.

What about you, whoever reads this? How do you relate to those around you, whether spouse or siblings or work colleagues? Is your interaction with them based on securing your own peace, happiness, sense of belonging etc? Will you challenge yourself to re-evaluate why and how you interact?

I was disappointed early this week to hear a colleague in a position of authority, talking with a staff member, refer to another staff member as an idiot and call him stupid because of a mistake. I gently stepped in and suggested that the mistake didn't make him stupid, just that he didn't know - he is a fairly new employee. This colleague has often offended others with that sort of judgmental speech.

My prayer would be for the Law of Kindness to ALWAYS be on my lips. How? By first embracing it in my heart, then by choosing to discipline my mind to reject negative thoughts about others. I have not always spoken kindly to those I love, and I am disappointed to have to confess this. Jesus spoke of the welcome of the Father at the Final Judgment:
"Well done, good & faithful servant".

I want my life to be pleasing to Him, and hope when I die that people might say of me (& God agree!!):
"He couldn't say a bad word about anyone". I desperately want to live up to this.

Readings:
Ex 14: 1-14
Don't be afraid. Stand firm, & see the Lord's salvation He will provide for you today.

Philemon 8-16
Paul's plea for Onesimus. The message of Grace, of not seeing people through the eyes of the past but rather forgiving and living as people who have been touched by Grace. If I need God's grace, how can I dare not to share that same grace with others - deserving or not?