Day Seven

Day 7 (1st Feb 2012)

Love believes the best.

The author writes about 2 "rooms" in the hidden & private corridors of the heart. Two rooms that we often frequent. One is positive & the other is negative. Unfortunately for our relationships, human nature leads us to spend more time visiting the wrong room.

He calls these the Appreciation Room & the Depreciation Room.

The concept being promoted in The Love Dare is to write down all the things that "bug", annoy, frustrate, hurt you in your relationship, then burn them.  Commit to yourself that you will never again go into the Depreciation Room except to pray positively for them.  When you were in the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship, you liked more things about your partner.  It's time to focus on those, and to choose to emark on a lifetime of finding praise points about her.  Live continually in the Appreciation Room.

Pick somebody you know: not just your spouse, but it could be a sibling or cousin or workmate. You know things about that person that belong in the Appreciation Room, AND things for the Depreciation Room. Everybody has good points, and things in their lives that are less pleasing when they look "in the mirror".

Now think about your spouse. Before you married, your Appreciation Room was filled with him/her. Even the faults seemed to fit in there!

Of course, the challenge today is to deal with what's in the Depreciation Room.

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Many years ago, I heard a great sermon about dealing with offence. Offences will come to all of us. If we choose to be people of love, then we need to make a choice to respond as people of love.

Will I judge and condemn? Will I feel sorry for myself? Will I speak good things?
I like the old saying:
"If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all."

I have been working hard on that in my own life. Sometimes I slip and it ends up hurting those I love, as I said yesterday. That comes when we forget to let go, and we hold in our feelings instead of talking honestly and gently through it.

I have been learning that it's not enough just to try to control my tongue. I must choose to not let myself THINK anything negative. Negative thoughts destroy my inner peace and I become cranky. Even if I try to hide it, it comes out and hurts those I love. So I must not even THINK negative thoughts. They are too damaging.

*     *     *     *     *

There is a great challenge in Galatians chapter 6:
Sow to the flesh & you'll reap death.
Sow to the Spirit & you'll reap life.
Don't get tired of doing what is good, for there will be a good harvest if we don't give up.

My choice is to speak and pray blessing and good words for 3 reasons:
1) To bring a good harvest for my wife and family.
2) To stop myself from destroying my life and my family with negative thoughts.
3) To set an example and to be an agent of peace in my home.

The sermon I referred to earlier challenged us:
Don't nurse your offense;
Don't curse the situation (ie just speak positive things)
Don't rehearse it (don't play over it in my mind, don't make it bigger, don't plan words to say next time in argument!)
Instead:
Disperse it (by giving it to God;) &
Reverse it (by changing the atmosphere with blessing and good words, thoughts & prayers).

The challenge: to tell your beloved something good about them that you like.


Liz has so many great qualities. She is a VERY caring and loving person, who is not afraid to speak about things that matter. Because she loves. I have in the past stuck my head in the sand. She gives and gives of herself to those she loves. I can really respect and honour that. She also has so much wisdom and understanding of life, I stand in awe. I have made so many mistakes, and it amazes me how much more aware and knowledgable she is. She is also so creative. Anyone who sees her blogs will testify to that - she has only had her camera a short time, but what AMAZING photography already.